My first ever blog

This is my first ever blog i've created. Never thought of having one before as i'm just plain lazy. The purpose this time is to write out what my feeling which sometimes i have difficulty in expressing out to others.

Well, yesterday 01.08.08, marked the end of my 4 years relationship with him. To be precised, its a week to 4 years. We started going out on 07.08.04. We actually have been on and off ever since we've been together and most of my friends know about it. And some of my friends are even surprised that I can actually survive in this relationship for such a long time. I'm not saying he ain't good. Let's put it this way. We just have different interest, characters, attitudes, topics and sadly the only common thing we share is our stubborn atttitude. Both are stubborn and never wanna give in. Perhaps, all this while to him, i never wanna lose. But i actually did give in. It's just that he never even realise it.

I find it now its actually good to write my feelings in this blog as i can just write out (as in voice out) my unhappiness and whatever i feel like saying here. You can say i'm an ego person or something like that. I find it difficult to tell people my feelings, my sadness. To some, i'm a happy-go-lucky crazy person but deep down in my heart, i can be a depress queen. Sometimes in the middle of the night, i'd wake up and find it difficult to sleep back whenever i had argument with him before. Not only that, when i was on my way to work, in my car journey, i tend to think a lot and out of nowhere, my tears fell like river flow. This feeling is really torturing me. When he is not with me, i miss him but when he is with me, we start to argue due to many consequences. It can range from a very minor problem to major ones. I couldn't stand, i just couldn't. Im sick of it. But yet, i couldn't make up decision of ending the relationship. This time i hope i can be strong, i hope i can! Its for the benefit of both of us. Our relationship is just not gonna work anymore as we have too much problems that couldn't be solved. I just hope day by day, i'll feel better and get use to it for not having with me now.

Anyway, i hope the best of him. And to myself, Cheer up Hoon. Stop being a depressed queen.

Hoon @ 2.23pm